Taking charge

I know for a long time now I have lived my life day to day without any real sense of purpose or the idea that my journey would have a certain destination.

I believed it was ok just to float through life and let each day take its course.

It is only in recent times I have to come to realise that we cannot allow ourselves to take a backseat in our own lives, we have to be the one in the drivers seat making the split second choices no matter how hard they seem.
If I can attribute anything to this change in mindset it would be my daughter.

Last year she was diagnosed as having Autism Spectrum Disorder and Attention Deficit Disorder. In a moment I went from being ok to thinking the worst and wondering what kind of life my daughter would have. It was by far one of the toughest years of my life, I utterly and completely broke down.

I spent so many nights crying myself to sleep and thinking what on earth I had done for something like this to happen to my little girl.

In the days that followed I felt as though I was in a trance, I had no real sense of time or place. I kept finding myself looking at my daughter and feeling the tears well up in my eyes and she would look at me and say ‘what’s wrong mum?’ I remember thinking ‘I can’t do this to her, I need to be the strong one’ it was in that moment I wiped my eyes and made a deceleration to myself that this wouldn’t beat us, I would no longer look at my daughter with pity but with admiration as in the end a diagnoses doesn’t make someone who they are.

Life can change in an instant and it isn’t what happens that affects our journey but rather our attitudes to those experiences and how we choose to move forward.

I now look at life as an endless opportunity, I want my daughter to grow up knowing that anything is possible. The only limitiations in life are the ones we put on ourselves.

I am inspired by my daughter, I want our experiences to mean something, I aim to use those experiences to guide our daily lives and continue to make decisions that keep us moving forward.

Fix you!!!

Whilst watching the ABC News coverage of the latest terrorist attacks in London I was struck by this overwhelming feeling of sadness, I looked over to my young daughter and I thought ‘you’re having to grow up in a world filled with violence and hate’ it almost brought tears to my eyes.

Before changing the channel over to the cartoons the ABC cut to coverage of the One Love concert in Manchester where Cold Play was singing Fix you; it was an amazing image of thousands of people singing along to a song that I can only imagine represents hope and love for so many of us. It was at this point that the sadness I had felt turned into appreciation as I thought how absolutely incredible the human race can be, amongst so much tragedy and unrest we can come together as complete strangers to unite as one.

We need to remember what we are capable of, when we put our differences aside and stand together for a cause we become so much stronger and there is nothing in this world we cannot face if we face it united!!!! 

 

Unite – “come or bring together for a common purpose or action” (Oxford dictionary)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Admire – start with yourself

Admire

Edgar Allen Poe once said “The generous Critic fann’d the Poet’s fire, And taught the world with reason to admire”

Admiration is a wonderful thing not only to have in ourselves but for our fellow man as well. As a society today we are so quick to judge or point out faults. Why you may ask do we do this? More than anything I think its a reflection on ourselves, we judge others for what we feel we are lacking in ourselves or because our self esteem is shot and criticising others somehow manages to make us feel better; which is absolute crap if you ask me. If you are unhappy with yourself then make chnages don’t blame others for having the things you don’t. We forget sometimes that although certain people can seem perfect on the outside 9 times out of 10 they are not they’ll have the same insecurities as the rest of us.

This notion is summed of perfectly by a comment by bob marly “who are you to judge the life I live? I know I am not perfect and I don’t have to be! Before you start pointing fingers, make sure you’re hands are clean.

if we are to move forward I think we all need to start with ourselves, and no I’m not going to go all cliche and say you have to love yourself before anyone else can love you because in truth we are all a bit broken and true love for yourself and others comes with experience, family and a life full of wonderful moments. so lets make in simple, let’s start with finding something to admire about our personality our reflection and those around us. I think that’s the most important start to a journey of self love and happiness.

Wind – memory

As I sit here at this very minute I can here the rustle of the wind through the tress, listening to the song it plays I am taken back to my childhood where I would spend hours swinging on the trapeze that hung over my mothers gigantic garden or shall I say Jungle. My mother loved to garden unfortunately however pruning and clearing pathways weren’t high on her priority list and yet this was probably a blessing as it made for the best games of hidey go seek and set an amazing background for imaginary play. When I would swing back and forth on the trapeze I would giggle every time I heard the whoosh of the wind beneath my feet, it felt like I was a fairy soaring high among the clouds.

Isn’t it funny how the smallest of things can take us back years or bring tears to our eyes. I look to the wind now with that innocent giggle in my heart and as a sign of change as ‘The Scorpions’ would have put it.

wind – memory

It all starts with FRIENDS.

We all say we go through things that inevitably change who we are. Good friends of mine recently reminded me that it isn’t our experiences that change us instead it’s the way we let those experiences dictate our lives. Instead of allowing ourselves to be broken why not look at it as an opportunity to become stronger. There will always be moments that try to break us, people who can tear us down with just one word or a certain kind of glance and yet the one consistent thing we all have in our corners is our best pals who will take our hand, open a glass of wine, feed us chocolate or share a pint of ice-cream and everything in the world will be alright because you have each other.

when talking about friendship there is always one quote that comes to mind for me and it comes from none other than the one woman who at some point we have all idiolised or wanted to be and thats Oprah Winfrey she said once that;

“lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.”

Could it not get anymore clearer than that, friendship isn’t about grand gestures or solving your life’s problems in one simple deep and meaningful, true friendship is about the little things; being there when everyone else turns away, answering the phone regardless of the time. Friendship is the one thing in life we can hang on to as no matter what direction we head or the journeys we take, close friends are always there to walk beside us.

As the years pass by I have been blessed with many amazing frienships ones that continue on for years and span many miles, others that have come and gone. I have learnt valuable lessons from all of them and shared many glorious memories and full belly laughs.

At this particular point in my life I am incredibly lucky to have a close friendship with two women who absolutely inspire me with their elegance and compassion, although I am the youngest I am never made to feel any different, ironically it is me that tends to play the sober or ‘big sister’ role only because being 100 percent honest I’m a complete lightweight when it comes to alcohol.

This friendship truly deserves a name like ‘the dream team or perhaps the elegant trio’ as it is a friendship that continually changes and rolls on with every new adventure always full of love, support and honesty even if at times we are told things we may not wish to hear.

When we get together and let our hair down it can truly be a sight to behold! We bring the elegance and grace wherever we go, we upstage groups of innocent dancers without even trying, we comment on the fashion disasters where bottom ‘cheeks’ poke out and a hint of boob becomes in your face boobs, and grown men try to squeeze themselves into skinny leg teenage jeans, honestly when will they learn…

Spending nights with these women is absolutely amazing, we’ve all learnt how to scan a room, be the perfect wingman but most of all how to enjoy each others company and live every moment to the full.

Friendship, shared experiences, and wonderful memories truly is what helps us get through life.

So heres to friendship may we all be blessed with amazing ones.

 

 

images