Taking charge

I know for a long time now I have lived my life day to day without any real sense of purpose or the idea that my journey would have a certain destination.

I believed it was ok just to float through life and let each day take its course.

It is only in recent times I have to come to realise that we cannot allow ourselves to take a backseat in our own lives, we have to be the one in the drivers seat making the split second choices no matter how hard they seem.
If I can attribute anything to this change in mindset it would be my daughter.

Last year she was diagnosed as having Autism Spectrum Disorder and Attention Deficit Disorder. In a moment I went from being ok to thinking the worst and wondering what kind of life my daughter would have. It was by far one of the toughest years of my life, I utterly and completely broke down.

I spent so many nights crying myself to sleep and thinking what on earth I had done for something like this to happen to my little girl.

In the days that followed I felt as though I was in a trance, I had no real sense of time or place. I kept finding myself looking at my daughter and feeling the tears well up in my eyes and she would look at me and say ‘what’s wrong mum?’ I remember thinking ‘I can’t do this to her, I need to be the strong one’ it was in that moment I wiped my eyes and made a deceleration to myself that this wouldn’t beat us, I would no longer look at my daughter with pity but with admiration as in the end a diagnoses doesn’t make someone who they are.

Life can change in an instant and it isn’t what happens that affects our journey but rather our attitudes to those experiences and how we choose to move forward.

I now look at life as an endless opportunity, I want my daughter to grow up knowing that anything is possible. The only limitiations in life are the ones we put on ourselves.

I am inspired by my daughter, I want our experiences to mean something, I aim to use those experiences to guide our daily lives and continue to make decisions that keep us moving forward.